What I’m about to tell you carries weight. And not just weight in your tummy or your heart. Weight on your shoulders, I think. What I’m about to tell you is a reminder. A lesson. A checklist. These are things I’ve learned. Things I’ve lived, seen, watched. Things I’ve prayed for, things I’ve forgiven, and things I’ve survived.
From the outside looking in.
From a girl that’s been married.
From a girl that’s dating.
From a girl that’s watched every single episode ever created of “A Wedding Story” on TLC.
Here’s the kinda person you should marry:
Marry the man that holds your coat for you, opens your car door, helps you figure out how to set your garage code, and hangs the shelves for you ... marry him because the patient look in his eye soothes something inside of you that has been rocky and neglected for too long. That thing that tells you that you're too loud or too much or too dumb to figure it all out. Marry him because he makes you feel like you are magic.
Marry the man that covers you up when you’re taking a nap because he knows you’re forever cold. Marry the man that doesn’t care if you take up all of the room in bed. Marry the man that knows what you’re searching for in the middle of the night when you reach across the flannel sheets. Marry the man that leans in closer, his warm breath tickling the hair in your ear. The one who, even in sleep, clutches you close.
Marry the guy that calls you out. The one that tells you that you can do whatever fancy, wild dream you have conjured up. The one that listens to your late night rambling and helps you plan and chase. Marry the guy that preaches yes to you over and over. The one that practically shoves you forward. The one that makes you feel like you just ... might ... be ... able. The one that yells out to the crowds that are starting to gather around you, the one that points to your blushing face, the one with all of the faith in you, and the one that tells everyone that’s listening, “This girl. Right here. Bet on her.” Marry that guy.
Marry the guy that laughs at all of your stupid jokes. The one that knows all of the songs on the radio and hums them to himself while he drives you around on Sunday afternoons. Marry the guy that holds your hand in the car, while you’re crossing the street, and the one that holds your hand in church. Marry the one that wants to learn you - what you want for breakfast, what your favorite color is, and what your favorite flowers are. Marry the one that helps you write your story ... the one that whispers words to you when you can’t remember.
There will be long nights. Marry the one that isn’t afraid to fight for you when it gets dark. Marry the one that doesn’t run. Marry the one that widens his stance and sticks around. Even if it sucks. Even if he’s mad. Even if you’re mad. Even if, even if, even if. Marry the guy that remembers his promises. Marry the guy that lives his promises.
Marry the person that makes you think. The one that questions your surface deep theories and forces you to charge forward or reevaluate. The one that knows about String Theory and Penny from The Big Bang Theory. The one that makes you face IT. Whatever it is. Your hurts, your worries, your can’ts, and your questions. Marry the one that helps you to sit with your loneliness and your quiet and still holds your hand. Marry the one that gives you a minute when you need it the most.
And then ...
And then ...
And then ...
Marry the man that will let you (this is very important, I’m afraid) be his champion, too. Marry the man that will let you in - the one that lets you see the vulnerable, the sad, the hurts that came before you, and the dark days he thought wouldn’t pass. You marry the guy that lets you fight for him, too. The one that learns from you, too. The one that isn’t afraid of your power, the one that isn’t afraid of your love, and the one that isn’t afraid of that one hot second every month when you’re about two breaths from losing your mind.
You marry the one that shows up for you.
And you marry the one that you want to show up for.
Over. And over.
. About Moi .
I love, love, love flannel sheets and I am really passionate about lists on post it notes and most of the time I'm sad that no one else is as excited as I am about Diet Mountain Dew. I also adore run-on sentences.
He saw her before he saw
anything else in the room.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
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